Hey.... Do you like coffee? Are you looking for a new history related conspiracy theory to follow? Then I've got just the thing for you. According to Dr. Vincent L. Michael, coffee not only dates back to 2600BCE, in ancient Sumeria, but there is a tablet that says that flavored coffees were around.
"There is a Sumerian tablet from 2600 BC where the author – in perfect cuneiform – complains about how the coffee today (2600 BC) is watered down and everyone adds cream and spices (mango? chelada?) and it is no longer “like coffee” was back in my day." {link}
And Dr. Michael should know, because he got his doctorate in.... Let me see here.... Architectural history and specializes in late 19th and early 20th century architectural preservation and restoration. So, he would be an expert in Acadian and Urartian cuneiform. Right? Right?
No.
The image that Dr. Michael uses on his blog and on Twitter says nothing about coffee. The picture is of "Instructions of Shurrupak, Sumerian proverb collection, c. 2400 BC - Oriental Institute Museum, University of Chicago" and has been translated as, "Shurrupak gave instructions to his son: / Do not buy an ass which brays too much. / Do not commit rape upon a man's daughter, do not announce it to the courtyard. / Do not answer back against your father, do not raise a 'heavy eye.'". {link}
Coffee can be dated back to around the 11th Century AD; we have books from them that speak of it's invention. Why make up shit?
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