Article for the Sylvan Signet - Rabbit Holes.

This is an article I wrote for the December 2024 issue of the Sylvan Signet.

Rabbit Holes and the Places You'll Go

by Caleb Reynolds

Hello, my friends. I was asked to write a brief article about my area of research expertise: Googly eyes and puns. No, my actual area of *research* expertise is of rabbit holes. Not literal rabbit holes, but literary rabbit holes. Or, more precisely, research rabbit holes. To anyone who has spent an hour or more clicking on links on WikiPedia, this sounds like a bad idea. One can easily spend too much time chasing down errant facts and not enough time writing about whatever it was that you were trying to present. Certainly, if you are writing a short article about the Varangian Guard and you suddenly get sidetracked by quadriga racing in Constantinople's Hippodrome, which then leads you to colorful, fan rivalry, which then leads you to the Nika Riots, which then leads you to nail-studded curse tablets, which leads you to Attila the Hun, which leads you to how a nomadic people conducted siege warfare, which leads you to how extreme climate change decimated the Huns, which leads.... Wait. What was I talking about?

Oh, yes; rabbit holes. This is an article about rabbit holes.

Rabbit holes are a good way to find topics to further research and then, with hope, write about. Every newsletter can use content. As can the AE Gazette and this very A&S newsletter. Remember, the SCA is at its heart a educational organization; we need to be doing research, writing, and teaching. So, being able to find topics to write on is a good thing. Consider, also, that not every A&S competition requires a physical item. Research papers are welcome: I entered a Kingdom A&S Championship with a brief paper about Piers Galveston. Having a list of topics, and notes with links to resources, can be beneficial for the researcher/writer. Examine my example, above. I have pointed out several areas of research that are up for grabs by anyone who might be looking for a blog post, or something interesting to publish in a local newsletter. One can confine one's research to just the Varangian Guard; a brief history of who they were, how they interacted with Byzantine royalty, how they brought back their pay (and booty) to Scandinavia. Or about how they made contacts with merchants in and around Constantinople that benefited themselves and their families for years. Or how Scandinavians got to and from Bosphorus Strait and how mail was sent back and forth.

Or, one can research quadriga racing, perhaps looking only at the chariots and harnesses that were used, compared to the horsey hardware used by other people, particularly on the battlefield. Perhaps focusing on the rules of the race and the rewards for winners. Were the chariot races in the various versions of "Ben-Hur" accurate, or fantasy? Or, why chariots kinda disappeared. Or if biga and triga racing were as popular as the quadriga. And, if you don't want to get into the weeds with ancient Formula 1 racing (or would that be the equivalent to NASCAR, since the horses were stock?), you can always restrict yourself to the rowdy fans and how they wore team colors, much like modern American football fans (or, if you are in Europe, football fans), and how the colors were highjacked by political factions in the city. This would, of course lead you to the Nika Riots, where upwards of 30,000 people were killed over the course of a week. A bit of a downer, but you might try to end your article on an up note and talk about how the various factions competed with one another to rebuild the city walls prior to the arrival of Attila the Hun.

Recently, "Ancient Warfare" magazine had a nice article about the siege engines Attila used. However, the article was far to short for me, and didn't explain how a fully light cavalry army could haul around siege equipment big enough to attack massive stone and brick walls. This would lead, naturally, to why Attila preferred "shock and awe" to bully towns and cities to surrender rather than spend the time and resources on a siege. This could also tie in with siege technique difference between the Huns and the Roman Empire, and then with later European armies. And since horsey cavalry requires grass for their four-footed companions, talking about how a years-long drought killed off vast areas of grass, making it next to impossible for an light cavalry army, which moved only with what could be carried in a saddlebag, to cross a wide empire of what turned into scrubland, fit only for sheep and goats. One could also compare and contrast the Hunnic and Mongolian empires. Or even the legends of Attila's final resting spot.

Every rabbit hole can be used a jumping off point for research. If you are looking for an area to research, start reading and when you hit a "Huh? I wonder why that was?" moment, you can stop and try to find an answer. Reading about castle construction might spark some questions about how stones and timber were lifted up to the tops of the walls and towers. You might ask how the same hardware was used to quickly raise and lower items. This might lead you to reading up on Brunelleschi's reversible, multi-gear hoist, which might make you ask "Why in the hell is this attributed to Leonardo diVinci when we have full documentation that Brunelleschi designed and built it?" Did he lick the crane? Is that why people say that he invented it? <bad Italian impersonation>Si, si. I-a licked it, so it'sa mine.<\bad Italian impersonation>

Attributing everything under the sun to Leonardo di Vinci is on my list of future articles. Spoilers: Leonardo wasn't the only clever person in the Renaissance.

Reading about medieval cathedrals you have so many jumping off points leading to smaller rabbit holes: labyrinths; pay structure of the workers; grotesques and gargoyles; stained glass windows; flying buttresses. You want a rabbit hole to deep dive into? Look up the iron chain of Amiens Cathedral.

Another nice thing about chasing down rabbit holes is that the knowledge you gain can help fill in the gaps of the mental pattern you have of a given time and place. Running down the rabbit of medieval builders' pay scales will give you greater insight into the value of goods and services sold. So, in 1600 London, a basic, unskilled laborer might earn around 60 shillings over the course of the year. 60 shillings is 720 pence or around 2 pennies per day. What does this actually mean? Two pennies a day sounds horrible to us, but how bad was it in 1600? Well, the price of a gallon of the best beer was set at 3.5 pence. So, an unskilled laborer would have to work a day and half for a gallon of the best beer. A gallon of decent ale could be had for a half-penny, Two dozen eggs for a penny. A pound of cheese for a half-penny. A pound loaf of bread from a half a penny to a penny and a half, depending on the quality. A cheap room could cost as little as 4 pennies a week. So, our unskilled laborer, making 12 pennies a week (Sunday's were spent in church and on the archery range, could afford their rent and basic food, with enough left over for clothes, shoes, the occasional tavern or street meal, as well as tithes for the church collection plate. With this information always at your mental fingertips, you will be able to better express the true value of spices based on what some guy was paid to lift and carry heavy loads. In perspective, a pound of nutmeg sold in London for 720 and 800 pennies per pound (weight), wholesale. A single nutmeg sold on the streets of London, retail, for 25 to 30 pennies, which would be 2+ weeks wages for our dude. For one nutmeg. Which is about 2 tablespoons of ground nutmeg. An outrageous expense for most of London's workers, but an affordable luxury for those a little higher up on the food chain: A little freshly ground nutmeg goes a long way. This information can influence our cooking and brewing projects: how much nutmeg to use would depend on who is making the thing. The middle-classes might use a tiny bit of nutmeg, while the upper-classes might use enough to make a Starbuck's employee say, "Whoa, ease up on the nutmeg, it doesn't grow on trees."

Running down rabbit holes allows us to build up our knowledge base and will help us in future writing. A deep dive into wages and monetary exchange rates throughout time means that we will have, at out fingertips, information that we can plop into any paper we choose to write. My research into the rabbit hole of cane sugar makes its way into any paper I write that touches on sugar. I can just copy and paste whet I've already written and not have to worry about starting from scratch every time I start a project about cookies or cakes. The same with distillation, or saffron, or spices, or any number of subjects. Once you've mapped out that rabbit hole, you can use that information on any number of other projects. It's the gift that keeps on giving. And the added information can help round out a research paper by helping you put things into perspective, or by engaging with the reader to keep them hooked. A paragraph that I use in pretty much every paper I write involving cordials is as follows (minus the footnotes):

"Sir Hugh Plat’s recipe “How to make the ordinarie spirit of wine, that is solde for five shillings & a noble, a pinte” shows how costly these beverages were. A noble was the first gold coin minted in Medieval England and was worth 80 pence. Or 6 shillings and 8 pence. So, Plat’s cordial could be sold for 11 shillings and 8 pence per pint. According to MeasuringWorth.com, this would be worth between $142 and $2400 in 2018 dollars, depending on the method of calculation. Cordials were not cheap. In London, in 1609, the year Plat published this particular recipe book, a barrel of the best ale was sold for 3 shillings and 8 pence, and a barrel of the best beer was sold for 4 shillings. This works out to 3 to 3.5 pennies per gallon. Cordials were too expensive to be consumed as a social beverage."

Running down the rabbit hole of comparative value pays off over and over again.

Rabbit holes also help us understand the broader picture of our projects. Going down the rabbit hole of felt production might help someone explain the difference between a cheap hat worn by commoners and a luxury hat worn by the hoi polloi. (BTW, why "hoi polloi" refers to both to the general population and to the elite is a fun rabbit hole to visit.) The rabbit hole of English saffron farming can explain why saffron could be found in so many English dishes up until the 18th Century, where it disappeared from all but the highest of tables. Asking if Robin Hood was a real person might lead to you falling down a rabbit hole of how the Victorians rewrote history to suit their own narrative. Try to find out who invented pretzels and you'll end up tripping over multiple rabbit holes involving drunken New Yorkers, Popeye the Sailor, Captain Kangaroo, Otto the Gorilla, Dutch renaissance painters, medieval knots, and if capybaras are kosher for Lent (as well as being able to annoy all of your friends for years to come). Try to figure out how much spice to add to a cordial and you'll trip over a rabbit hole of apothecary weights and measurements. Be careful when researching Anglo-Saxon kings or you might fall into the rabbit hole of King Arthur and his super powered knights of the round table (King Arthur was like Professor X in the earliest stories). Or you might trip over the hole looking for the Jutes: what happened to the Jutes? They came over to England at the same time as the Anglos and the Saxons? Why aren't they mentioned? Why is it the Anglo-Saxon time period and not the Jute-Saxon?

The rabbit hole of Spanish unification can explain why Henry VIII couldn't get an annulment. The rabbit hole of manorial rights can help explain why there were so many rebellions against land owners. Start poking about in French water mills and you'll get caught up in the medieval stock market and the dam wars. I audited a class about the American Civil War in college and the professor was talking about the unusual troop movements of one particular Confederate company.  He told us that no one could figure out what that company was doing; they weren't chasing a Union company; they weren't coordinating with other companies; and they were going anywhere that made any military sense. The professor spent years trying to figure out what this company was doing based only on the reports of other companies, since the colonel in charge of this one left no written records. Years of research culminated in taking him a break to write about the history of bourbon whiskey. He discovered that that company was marching from one distillery to another and drinking them dry. The map of troop movement lined up perfectly with where the distilleries were. He said, the professor, that he never would have figured it out unless he actually went to visit the old distilleries and read the diaries of the people who owned those distilleries. 

Chasing down too many rabbit holes can overwhelm just about everyone, so some discipline is required. Focused rabbit holes during the research portion of your project is acceptable and can help round out your paper. Some discipline is required, however. I have spent far too much time chasing down rabbit holes instead of concentrating on what my project was about. For some documentation on red wine, I wrote years ago, I spent a week running down a rabbit hole about how Venice would bribe, threaten, and even kidnap glass blowers from Constantinople [1] to ensure that Venetian glass was the best in Europe. All I really needed was a couple of references supporting my assertion that wine was bottled and shipped in glass during the middle ages, but the human trafficking of skilled workers was a siren song I could not resist. Still no research is truly wasted, but, you can spend too much time researching interesting facts that are irrelevant to your paper.

You have to set limits so that you can write. You can limit yourself to what famous Laurels call "Three Degrees of Kevin Bacon"[2] which means you limit yourself to three separations from your primary subject matter and what you are poking about researching. If you are researching invisible ink, a mention, or a footnote, about how Mary, Queen of Scots, used invisible ink to correspond with her supporters in France is fine; one doesn't need to fully research Francis Walsingham's spy network if all you need for your paper is that Mary and her confederates used alum to write their secret messages. Documentation about re-creating a particular Flemish dress only needs a paragraph or two about what fabric might have been used and where it came from; one doesn't have to research how Cistercian monasteries adopted two different sheep breeding programs to to produce fleece of different qualities and features. Documenting a period bread recipe doesn't need 30 pages on the evolution of bread ovens: the history of bread ovens can be its own paper. Limiting yourself to only the type of bread oven that would have been available when your recipe was written is better for your paper, but you don't need to go into detail on how much each brick cost and where they were shipped from. A project about a 14th Century ale recipe doesn't require you to document 4000 year old Sumerian beer. But, in case you have the need, here is me breaking my own rule:

Borne of the flowing water,
Tenderly cared for by the Ninhursag,
Borne of the flowing water,
Tenderly cared for by the Ninhursag,

Having founded your town by the sacred lake,
She finished its great walls for you,
Ninkasi, having founded your town by the sacred lake,
She finished its walls for you,

Your father is Enki, Lord Nidimmud,
Your mother is Ninti, the queen of the sacred lake.
Ninkasi, your father is Enki, Lord Nidimmud,
Your mother is Ninti, the queen of the sacred lake.

You are the one who handles the dough [and] with a big shovel,
Mixing in a pit, the bappir with sweet aromatics,
Ninkasi, you are the one who handles the dough [and] with a big shovel,
Mixing in a pit, the bappir with [date] - honey,

You are the one who bakes the bappir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,
Ninkasi, you are the one who bakes the bappir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,

You are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the potentates,
Ninkasi, you are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the potentates,

You are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.
Ninkasi, you are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.

You are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Coolness overcomes,
Ninkasi, you are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Coolness overcomes,

You are the one who holds with both hands the great sweet wort,
Brewing [it] with honey [and] wine
(You the sweet wort to the vessel)
Ninkasi, (...)(You the sweet wort to the vessel)

The filtering vat, which makes a pleasant sound,
You place appropriately on a large collector vat.
Ninkasi, the filtering vat, which makes a pleasant sound,
You place appropriately on a large collector vat.

When you pour out the filtered beer of the collector vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.
Ninkasi, you are the one who pours out the filtered beer of the collector vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.
- "Hymn to Ninkasi" translation by Miguel Civil

See how easy it is to chase down the rabbit hole? All I needed was a general date of how old the oldest beer recipe was and I spent a good 20 minutes trying to chase down a good translation of the recipe. Definitely more than three steps away from Kevin Bacon and 20 minutes I could have spent doing anything else more productive. However, now that I have this recipe, I can use it like color commentary in future brewing projects, if I want to show that beer has been around for a long, long time. However, if I'm going to make a 14th Century German beer, the recipe for a 19th Century BCE Sumerian beer isn't going to help me at all: the methods are really not interchangeable.

You can also use the "Get What You Need and Get Back to Work" method, which is pretty self explanatory. If you need one particular piece of information, look for that information and stop. I don't need to research the hunting of Greenland walrus tusks if all I need is an example or two of how valuable they were. (More than their actual weight in pure silver, which could be up to 12 pounds each, at least while access to elephant ivory was cut off; but that's a different rabbit hole). If I am planning on reproducing a 15th Century Italian omelet, I might want to do some research on what size frying pans were available. This would help me figure out how thick or thin my omelet should be. Time spent looking at 15th century spatulas would also help me in my method. Time spent running down the rabbit hole of Italian harlots and ruffians can better be spent elsewhere.[3] Research for the sake of research is fine and dandy, but if it interferes with your primary goal, documentation for an A&S project, an article for a newsletter, then you have to put your foot down and focus on finishing your paper with only the information directly related to it. I don't need to know every step involved in making vellum if I am documenting a scroll. It's a disgusting process and many thanks to the people who get their hands dirty, but it's irreverent compared to what type of paint I used and where I got the image from.

Rabbit holes can be used for an entire article of useless, yet interesting, facts. Heck, my "Ask Another Laurel" articles are nothing but rabbit holes. Sometimes, you can just riff on an idea and do stream of consciousness research and writing. If anyone wants to write their own rabbit-hole articles about the topics that keep them awake at night, there is plenty of room in the blog-o-verse. For my fancy, fabric fabricating friends, go down the rabbit hole of cloth-of-gold and see where it takes you. For my creative, culinary, chefy companions, go down the rabbit hole of how much kitchen staff were paid and what benefits and perks they got. Let me know what you find. For my pretty, professional pigment partners, go down the rabbit hole of how dye makers often lived outside of normal society because of the smells they generated and how most people don't want to be around people who are perpetually blue or green. Tell me of the neat facts you discovered. Surprise me with answers to questions I didn't know I needed to ask. Inspire me to look more into what inspired you.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

[1] Istanbul was Constantinople. Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.

[2] No Laurel other than Caleb has ever said this and there is a limit as to what the word "famous" can stretched to.

[3] Since you asked nicely: Recipe #122: Orange Omelette for Harlots and Ruffians from “Le ‘Registre de Cuisine’ de Jean de Bockenheim”, originally published in “Le Moyen Age à table” by Bruno Laurioux, Paris, Adam Biro, 1989.

Sic fac fritatem de pomeranciis: Recipe ova percussa, cum pomeranciis ad libitum tuum, et extrahe inde sucum, et mitte ad illa ova cum zucaro; post recipe oleum olive, bel segimine, et faac califieri in patella, et mitte illa ova intus. Et erit pro ruffianis et leccatricibus.

Translation:

How to make an orange omelette: Take eggs and break them, with oranges, as many as you like; squeeze their juice and add to it the eggs with sugar; then take olive oil or fat, and heat it in the pan and add the eggs. This was for ruffians and brazen harlots.

Ingredients for one omelet or frittata:

2 large chicken eggs

4 tablespoons of 100% orange juice.

1 teaspoon of organic, unbleached sugar

small pinch of salt.

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

Method:

Add the oil to a small pan and bring up to medium-high heat. Crack the two eggs into a cup and add the orange juice, sugar and salt. Whisk well. When the oil starts to shimmer, pour the egg mixture into the hot oil and cook until the bottom sets. Flip to cook the top side. Remove from the heat once both sides have cooked to a light brown. This is actually a frittata, rather than an omelet, but you could fold the eggs over and let the center cook by residual heat. The sugar and acid will keep the eggs from setting fully, so be careful when flipping or folding. My first two attempts didn't turn out pretty. The omelet or frittata will have a light and airy texture and have a faint hint of sweet oranges. Now, why it's recommended for ruffians and harlots, well, that's a different article.

[4] I spent three days researching this recipe and taste testing it. Three days. Three days in the middle of writing the paragraph about how not to get distra..... SQUIRREL!

[5] And now I've become one of those people who has made their readers slog through 3000 words before getting to the recipe.

[6] No. No I didn't explain "nail-studded curse tablets". I can't do everything around here.

Figure 1: found on the web

Figure 2: Partial image from Ancient Warfare magazine, Vol XVII, Issue 3, page 30. Attributed to Andrey Fetisov

Figure 3: By Caleb Reynolds

Orange Omelette for Harlots and Ruffians -third attempt

Recipe #122: Orange Omelette for Harlots and Ruffians

This is a continuation of my experimentation for a 15th Century omelet/fritata. Attempts 1 and 2 can be found here.

from “Le ‘Registre de Cuisine’ de Jean de Bockenheim”, originally published in “Le Moyen Age à table” by Bruno Laurioux, Paris, Adam Biro, 1989.

Sic fac fritatem de pomeranciis

Recipe ova percussa, cum pomeranciis ad libitum tuum, et extrahe inde sucum, et mitte ad illa ova cum zucaro; post recipe oleum olive, bel segimine, et faac califieri in patella, et mitte illa ova intus. Et erit pro ruffianis et leccatricibus.
Translation:

How to make an orange omelette. Take eggs and break them, with oranges, as many as you like; squeeze their juice and add to it the eggs with sugar; then take olive oil or fat, and heat it in the pan and add the eggs. This was for ruffians and brazen harlots.

Ingredients (for this attempt):

4 medium chicken eggs

5 tablespoons of 100% orange juice.

1 teaspoon of organic, unbleached sugar

small pinch of salt.

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

Method:

I followed the same steps as the previous two attempts, I just used more egg and juice. Because of how light and fluffy the eggs turn out, it doesn't feel like you've eaten a substantial meal. Since I was making this for my dinner, I chose to use 4 eggs.

I used the same 100% orange juice as the previous attempts; no added sugar or preservatives. I also used the same sugar. This time around it didn't work out as well. I think that the oil was too hot, as the eggs started to brown as soon as they hit the oil. 

The heat caused the eggs to squeeze some of the orange juice out as it set. There was a lot of liquid in the pan after I had moved the eggs to my plate. I turned off the heat to avoid burning the eggs, but with the liquid in the pan, and the acid and sugar in the mixture, kept the eggs from setting completely. It wasn't firm enough to flip in the pan in one piece, nor was it firm enough to fold.  What I ended up with was scrambled eggs instead of an omelet or frittata. 

The end result was still light and fluffy, and slightly sweet, but there was only a whisper of orange flavor. Still, a good dinner. I think that for the next attempt I will start off with a lower heat and let the eggs cook longer. This might not result in the same texture, but we shall see. 

Orange Omelette for Harlots and Ruffians - first and second attempts

Recipe #122: Orange Omelette for Harlots and Ruffians

from “Le ‘Registre de Cuisine’ de Jean de Bockenheim”, originally published in “Le Moyen Age à table” by Bruno Laurioux, Paris, Adam Biro, 1989.

Sic fac fritatem de pomeranciis

Recipe ova percussa, cum pomeranciis ad libitum tuum, et extrahe inde sucum, et mitte ad illa ova cum zucaro; post recipe oleum olive, bel segimine, et faac califieri in patella, et mitte illa ova intus. Et erit pro ruffianis et leccatricibus.
Translation:

How to make an orange omelette. Take eggs and break them, with oranges, as many as you like; squeeze their juice and add to it the eggs with sugar; then take olive oil or fat, and heat it in the pan and add the eggs. This was for ruffians and brazen harlots.

Ingredients (for this attempt):

2 medium chicken eggs

3 tablespoons of 100% orange juice.

1 teaspoon of organic, unbleached sugar

small pinch of salt.

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

Method:

Add the oil to a pan and bring up to medium-high heat.

Crack the two eggs into a cup and add the orange juice, sugar and salt. Wisk well.

Pour the egg mixture into the hot oil and cook until the bottom sets. Flip to cook the top side. Remove from the heat once both sides have started to brown.

Explanation:

While this is called an omelet in the translations, the original source calls it a fritatem, which translates to frittata. What is the difference? In modern terms, frittatas have stuff mixed in with the egg mixture and left to cook or bake in the pan; no flipping or rolling. Omelets are a thin layer of eggs with stuff placed on top, and then the eggs are folded or rolled over the stuff. Frittatas are generally cooked longer at a lower temperature so that the stuff is cooked without overcooking the eggs. I went with a half and half method. Using only two eggs, I knew that I wasn't going to have enough structure to side out of the pan in one, frittata shaped piece. 

Also, Italian omelets, according to recipes starting in the late 19th Century, are cooked in a hotter pan than French style omelets, and the Italian style uses more fat in the pan. The French style uses enough fat to keep the eggs from sticking and the Italian style almost has enough fat to fry the eggs. 

The orange juice that was available in the 15th Century would have been sour, as sweet oranges hadn't been cultivated by the time this cookbook was written. For simplicity's sake, I picked up a pint of 100% orange juice with nothing added to the bottle. While my juice was sweet, it wasn't very sweet, so I decided to add some additional sugar. I used some organic, pure cane sugar that still has a little bit of color to it. I think that this sugar would be as good as the best sugar our medieval cooks would have had access to, without being 100% pure sucrose and bleached of all color. The sugar that I used tastes like sugar, identical to the pure sugar that comes in the little packets next to the coffee at work. Just like the crystal sugar that I used in the past. Using the organic sugar ensured that no bleaching agents were used to make the sugar completely white, as well as no anti-clumping agents added. It was what I had readily available in my kitchen.

I added a small pinch of salt, even though it wasn't mentioned, because eggs need salt. 

Once the oil was shimmering, I added the egg mixture and let the bottom set. Unfortunately, it did not set enough to allow me to flip it in one piece: My frittata was turning into a poorly made omelet. Once both sides had started to brown, I turned the heat off of the stove and let the thing set for another 30 seconds before moving to a plate. 

Still hot, the whatever you wish to call it was nice. The oil let the eggs cook fluffy and airy, so it was really light on the tongue. There wasn't much of an orange flavor and it was sweet. Not sweet enough to be called a dessert. Quite nice.

I cleaned out the pan and attempted recipe #2.

Ingredients (attempt 2):

2 medium chicken eggs

5 tablespoons of 100% orange juice.

1 tablespoon of organic, unbleached sugar

small pinch of salt.

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.

Method:

I followed the same procedure as before, with less than satisfactory results. 

The added juice and sugar kept the eggs from setting fully. There were eggy curds, but it just didn't set like an omelet should. 

It also didn't brown in the same way. The egg mixture set after 4 or 5 minutes of high heat, but it was more like basted scrambled eggs than a frittata or an omelet. 

They were good. Very sweet with an orange flavor, and the texture was still light and airy, but there was a bit of oily orange juice left on the plate when I was done eating. 

I think that for my third attempt I will increase the amount of orange juice but keep the added sugar to 1 teaspoon. Or I might go to the store and get an orange, juice it myself, and add in the zest. Zest wasn't mentioned but there is no reason why it can't be added if it is fine enough. It might compromise the texture of the eggs, but I'll have to try it.

The next phase would be to figure out why this was recommended for harlots and ruffians, or pimps and prostitutes and this recipe is sometimes translated as. There is no meat in this dish and the sugar would have been a luxury. I have a couple of theories that I need to track down. I think that this would make an excellent entry to the Kingdom A&S Champions coopetition.

Basic Bibliography:

REDON, Odile; SABBAN, Françoise; SERVENTI, Silvano and English translation by SCHNEIDER, Edward. The Medieval Kitchen: Recipes from France and Italy

The Thorngrove Table:  https://thorngrove.wordpress.com/2005/11/14/foody_saturday_/

Finally Finished

 Design from the AEthelmearc Scribal Playtime.

Started in 2013. Finished in 2024.

No clue what paint I used on this, originally. Probally what was on the table for the Scribal Playtime. It was okay.... Kinda of blotchy and I went over the lines in places. Might have been why I hid it away.

So, a quick coat of red and blue W&N gouache to remove the blotchiness. Some W&S gold to cover the little gold paint I used way back when. A Micron green brush to even up the green vine. A .25 black Micron pen to outline everything, and some W&N opaque white ink for the white work. Applied with a fine brush: I didn't feel like digging out a pen. A simple wavy line for the blue and red and some dots on the leaves. And now it looks like someone who knows what they are doing did the scroll from scratch.

This ended up as Scroll # 561

Happy "Columbus Was A Bastard" Day

This was a post I put on my FB profile on 10/14/24, and FB took it down because they flagged it as spam. "It looks like you tried to get likes, follows, shares or video views in a misleading way."

Really, FB. This was on my personal page with no links to outside sources, pictures or videos. 

==========

"New" evidence was released, today, that implies that Columbus wasn't Italian; he was a secret Jew born in Spain. The evidence comes from 2001 DNA analasys of what might have been his bones and those of his son and Brother. Might. There is some question as to where his bones were eventually interred.

This is not a new theory; it dates back to the mid 19th Century and was based on two promiant Spanish Jews who funded his first voyage. It gained some noteraity in the '70s with some questionable letters apparetly written by Columbus in Hewbrew, apprently claiming that his mission to the New World was to find a new home for his fellow Jews. Let's ignore that all of the written accounts of his proposals to Italian, Spanish, Portugese, English and French Crowns say that he was looking for a short cut to China and Japan. And that he and his family were devote Catholics and all of the written evidence showing that he, and his family, were from Genoa and did extensive business there before moving to Savona.

There are also competing theories that Columbus was born in Catalan Spain, because he referred to himself as "Christobal Colom" (Colom means "dove" in Catalan). Except that Corombo, his actual family name, also means "dove" in Genoese. As does the Italian Colombo. Columbus is, of course, Latin.

There is also another theory, from 1916, that Columbus was actually Portuguese and was the son of a Salvador Fernandes Zarco. This is based on Columbus's handwriting on certain documents owned by the Vatican.

Things You Should Not Put On An SCA Scroll

 Things You Should Not Put On A Scroll, part whatever. 

Sometimes, no explanation is needed.

This is a 15 Century German engraving of Aristotle and Phyllis. (Lehrs 1908-34 / Geschichte und kritische Katalog des deutschen, niederländischen und französischen Kupferstichs im XV Jahrhundert (VI.243.64))

No.

Just, no. 

Not even for an equestrian scroll.

No.

 Scroll Text - Richard of Baldwinsville - Keystone 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Service Award

Richard of Baldwinsville, hear these present letters from Bjarki and Gabrielle, King and Queen of Sylvan AEthelmearc. It has come to Our notice the notable service done for Ourselves and Our predecessors, as well as for Our good subjects, that We are so moved to take action. Therefore We who not only by common renown but also by the report and testimony of other nobles worthy of credence are truly advertised and informed that you have performed feats of service and have conducted yourself honorably such that henceforth you may be in all places honorably admitted, renowned, counted, numbered, and received among the number and in the company of the Noble Order of the Keystone. And for the remembrance of this We assign to you the right to bear the badge of the Order. In witness whereof We King and Queen of AEthelmearc, as named above, have signed with Our hands and sealed with Our seal and given the fifth day of October in the year of the society 50 and 9, at Our Crown Tourney.

inspired by 1459/60 grant of arms to John Alfrey

https://www.flickr.com/photos/calebreynolds/54013790559/in/dateposted/

Scroll Text - Julie Alewife - Sycamore 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - A&S Award

Come hear the words of the King and Queen of AEthelmearc, right trusty and welbeloved. Forasmuch as We, of Our special grace, in consideration of the true and faithful service which Our welbeloved subject Julie Alewife hath done unto Us and Our Kingdom, know that We have avowed and award unto her a place within our Noble Order of the Sycamore where We had noticed her absence before hand. We further give her leave to wear the badge of the Order as she sees fit for one of her station and further give unto her all said rights and duties of the Order and demand that the Order receive and admit the aforesaid Julie Alewife without delay; and these Our Letters shall be your Warrant. Given by Our hands at the fields of Our Crown Tournament, the 5th day of October, AS59 and signed with Our marks as:  Bjarki- King and Gabrielle - Queen.

Inspired by Signet Letter for the Issue of Letters under the Privy Seal only (20 Nov., 16 Edward IV)

https://www.flickr.com/photos/calebreynolds/54013466456/in/dateposted/

Alphabet challenge - ten years later.

 The first four blanks are laid out for the ten year revisit of my alphabet challenge.

What the hell was I thinking. I hated doing knotwork ten years ago; I hate it even more, now.

Alphabet challenge - ten years later.

I think that for my next project I will re-do my scribal alphabet challenge. An inhabited initial scroll from A to Z. I think I will do the same scroll designs that I made in 2014.
Let's see if I can't do all 26 by the end of the year.
I've already done some of these designs, since 2014, but I can turn this into a progression paper.

 Scroll Text - Aengus MacBain - Court Baron 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Court Barony

The King and Queen of AEthelmearc to Aengus MacBain, Knight of AEthelmearc. Since We intent to have a consultation and meeting with the principal Nobles of Our Kingdom with regard to providing remedies against the dangers which are in these days threatening the afore mentioned Kingdom as word has reached our Ears of the invasion of Normans at Pevensey; and on that account have commanded them to be with us on this day of the Feast of St. Wenceslaus at the meeting place called Harvest Raid in Our Shire of Heronteer, to consider, ordain, and do as may be necessary for the the avoidance of these dangers; We would take such steps as We deem fit to add you to the rolls of said Nobles and elevate you from the position of humble Knight to that of Baron of Our Court such that you will have Our authority to command Men, Women, and Nobles in defense of Our Realm. 

Moreover, you shall have full and sufficient power to act as an inspiration to Our subjects and burgesses and shall lead as an example of Service, Kindness, and Courtesey, then and there for doing what shall then be ordained according to the common counsel; so that the aforesaid business shall not remain unfinished in any way for defect of this power, you shall have here a Coronet to wear, to mark you of your new station and this Warrant that We have signed to make Our Words Law. This we have done this 28th day of September, AS59, with marks of Bjarki, King, and Gabrielle, Queen.

Inspired by Summons of Representatives of Shires and Towns to Parliament (1295)

 Scroll Text - Guy of Heronter - Keystone 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Service Award

Pray, attend Us, Noble Order of the Keystone, right trusty and right welbeloved Order. We will and command you, Our Order, to deliver, or cause to be delivered, unto Our Guy of Heronter, Lord, in consideration of such service as he hath done unto Us in Our beloved Shire and other areas of Our Domain, a medallion bearing the emblazon of the aforesaid Noble Order, to wit, Or, on a keystone gules an escarbuncle argent, that he may proudly wear as We mean to add his name to the rolls of members of the Order, and besides such other benefits as We mean towards him for his service as laborer, plumber, porter, cook, and tollner. And these Our letters shall be your sufficient warrant in this behalf. Given by the hands of Bjarki and Gabrielle, King and Queen of Sylvan AEthelmearc, in Our beloved Shire of Heronter, the 28th day of September, AS Nine and Fifty, at Harvest Raid. 

based on a privy seal letter to the Treasurer and Chamberlains of the Exchequer for payment of a certain sum to William Brymingham, 27 September, 1570 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/calebreynolds/54007519606/in/dateposted/

  Scroll Text - Simonetta d'Alfassi - Millrind 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Service Award

Due commendations to all nobles and gentles these present letters hearing or seeing, Murdoch and Rioghnach, otherwise called King and Queen of Sylvan AEthelmearc, send humble and due recommendation. It seems to us just yesterday, in the Western Region of the East Kingdom, a lowly drudge, named Simonetta d'Alfassi, was called forth from the kitchen at Ice Dragon and, covered in flour, was elevated to the rank of Lady in front of hundreds. Then she was sent back to the kitchen to finish her work. Her work which did not end at that event. Simonetta, as mentioned above, has spent the years hence doing service. Cook, retainer, server, guard, marshal, tollner, although not always covered in flour, she has served where and when she could. Thus do we move Our hands to paper and induct her into the Noble Order of the Millrind and do give her a medallion bearing the emblazon of the aforesaid Noble Order, to wit, Fieldless, a millrind argent. Furthermore, do We Grant her the following arms: Argent, a bunny rampant contourny maintaining a wooden longbow proper nocked with an arrow sable, a chief invected azure, as well as this receipt which shall be Our Warrant for full and complete entry into the aforesaid Noble Order from this day unto the end of days. Done on the 21st day of September, AS59, at Our final court in Our Shire of Steltonwald.

based on a privy seal letter to the Treasurer and Chamberlains of the Exchequer for payment of a certain sum to William Brymingham, 27 September, 1570

 

Sir William Paston's Meathe

Sir William Paston's Meathe from Digby.

Take ten Gallons of Spring-water, and put therein ten Pints of the best honey. Let this boil half an hour, and scum it very well; then put in one handful of Rosemary, and as much of Bay-leaves; with a little Limon-peel. Boil this half an hour longer, then take it off the fire, and put it into a clean Tub; and when it is cool, work it up with yest, as you do Beer. When it is wrought, put it into your vessel, and stop it very close. Within three days you may Bottle it, and in ten days after it will be fit to drink. [p42]

My quick and dirty redaction:

2 gallons of spring water.
2 pints of honey
Big pinch of rosemary, fresh of dried.
3 bay leaves, dried.
1 ounce of bitter lemon peel.

Boil the rosemary, bay leaves and lemon peel in a quart of water for 30 minutes.
Dissolve the honey in 1 gallon of water and simmer, skimming the scum off of the surface. Move to the fermenter when clear. No need to boil if you use pasturized honey.
Strain the leaves and stems out of the "tea" and add the water to the fermenter.
Add in the rest of the water to the fermenter to cool the must.
Pitch in ale yeast when cool.
Let ferment for a week, bottle when it's as strong as you wish.

The Closet Of Sir Kenelm Digby Knight Opened

Scroll Text - Baronial Champion - Iron Man 2024 

Barony of the Rhydderich Hael - Champion Scroll 

Pay heed to the words of Magnus and Thalia, Baron and Baroness of the Rhydderich Hael. Periodically we hold competitions for our champions. This year we had plenty of Reaction and we watched as our competitors vied to drive the competition to their Neons and Barium; not as enemies, but as Alloys. Of all of the competitors, we had our Ion on {INSERT NAME HERE} who competed in the most number of Champion tourneys. You were swift like Mercury and never out of your Element. You threw yourself into the competition not caring if you would Zinc or swim and any hesitations we might have had Argon. NA, we were not so easily Lead by your humility and saw your Fussion of styles that makes our Barony Sodium proud. If we had a Nickle for each of your victories, we would be rich. So, up and Atom and greet the populace as our Noble Baronial Iron Man. Done by our hands, this 31st day of August, AS 59, in the Canton of Beau Fleuve, at Summer's End.

 Scroll Text - Corwin Alexander Templeton - Keystone 2024

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Service Award

Come forth good and noble gentles and know the will of Murdoch and Rioghnach, King and Queen of Sylvan AEthelmearc. Since human memory is short and does not suffice for a crowd of things, the authority of those who preceded Us has decreed that those things were to be written down which the progress of fleeting time generally removes from the knowledge of nobles. Wherefore let the present, as well as the future, subjects of Our Kingdom know that Corwin Alexander Templeton, Lord, for the reason that he greatly impressed us with his service at Demos and upon the range, and is in all ways a benefit to Us and Our Kingdom, filing his martial reports on time, has incurred Our pleasure. We, therefore, after deliberating with Our Councilors, have agreed to induct the aforesaid Corwin Alexander Templeton into the Noble Order of the Keystone. We do confirm, therefore, this lawful award of Our Royal Majesty onto Corwin, as mentioned above. And wishing this to remain valid for all posterity, We forbid by Royal Edict that any one, with rash daring, infringe it or in any way attempt to violate it; and We validly corroborate this Our decree by the present privilege with Our hands, this 20th day of April, in the fifty-eighth year of the Society, at the Queen's A&S Faire, in Our Barony of the Delftwood.

Inspired by the Gelnhausen Charter; 1180

 Scroll Text - Fencing Tourney - Summer's End 2024

Barony of the Rhydderich Hael - Martial Tourney

{________________________________}, listen to the words of Magnus and Thalia, 13th Baron and Baroness of the Rhydderich Hael. To the nobles and commons within seeing or hearing of these words, it is our wish and desire to recognize your noble skill of rapier combat, said skill with the sword did impress our eyes and so moved hand to paper and name you the winner of the Summer's End Fencing tourney, held in the Canton of Beau Fleuve, at Summer's End, the 31st day of August, AS59.

Inspired by Henry VII's warrant for an imprest at the receipt of the Exchequer, 10/16/1498

 Scroll Text - Fake It Until You Make It A&S Competition - Summer's End 2024

Barony of the Rhydderich Hael - A&S Tourney

Sciences are the foundations of all true learning must be laid in study; marked by a broad spirit; accurate scholarship; and careful attention to details. We are well moved by the works of {________________________} and are pleased to name them as the winner of the first Fake It Until You Make It A&S Competition, held at Summer's End, this 31st day of August, AS59, in the Canton of Beau Fleuve. Done by the hands of Magnes and Thalia who signed this warrant as proof of our words so that no one deny their accomplishments.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/calebreynolds/53937367995/in/dateposted/

 Scroll Text - A&S Competition - Summer's End 2024

Barony of the Rhydderich Hael - A&S Tourney

Arts and those who create them are pleasing to the eyes of Magnus and Thalia. To the nobles and commons of this, our fair Barony and Canton, it is our wish and desire to hold up before all the fair works of {insert name here}, whose skill and craftsmanship did impress our eyes and so moved hand to paper and name you and your work the winner of the Arts and Sciences competition, held on this 31st day of August, in the 59th year of our Society at Summer's End in our Canton of Beau Fleuve. 

Inspired by Henry VII's warrant for an imprest at the receipt of the Exchequer, 10/16/1498

 Scroll Text - Spartacus Suetonius Saturnalicus - Award of Arms

Kingdom of AEthelmearc - Award of Arms

To the Divine Shades. Murdoch and Rioghnach made this for Spartacus Suetonius Saturnalicus, Emperor and Empress for this legionnaire. His speed and strength in the phalanx were noticed and We wish to send him on to his rest with a gift. We give unto Spartacus Suetonius Saturnalicus, at the cost of the State and with consultation of the Senate and ordinance of the People, to honor him because of his worthiness, an Award of Arms with which himself and his posterity might be conveyed. Done at War Practice, AS LIX

inspired by the tomb inscriptions of Lucius Vitellius Leo, 1st Century AD,  and of Gaius Publicius Bibulus 3rd Century BCE - Cassar CC41.27 and Warmington CIL_12.834

The GOAT

Let me tell you of the greatest athlete of all time. Not Mark Spitz. Not Simone Biles. I speak instead of Theagenes of Thasos, son of Timosthenes. What we do know about him is astonishing. In 480BCE, in the 75th Olympiad Games, he won the crown for boxing a man named Euthymos. In the 76th Olympiad he won the pankration, a sport with two basic rules: no eye gouging and no Spartans. But two Olympic victories wouldn't make anyone the greatest athlete ever. According to records, he won three victories in the Pythian Games, nine victories in the Nemean Games and ten victories in the Isthmian Games. Over a 22 year career, he won 1400 competitions, not only with fighting, but in foot races as well.

But, such victories are just a number; what makes Theagenes The GOAT is what happened after he died. He was such a great, and well known, athlete, that a bronze statue was erected of him in Thasos. Allegedly, according to a single source, some dude who lost too many fights with Theagenes came up to the statue one night and started beating it. He must have hit the bronze too hard because, allegedly, it fell over and crushed him to death. The man's sons took the statue to court for murder, under something called Apsychon Dike, which stated that if an unjust death had occurred, than someone or something could be held accountable for it. The argument was that Theagenes was such a good boxer he should have known better than to kill his opponent. (I don't buy this argument, since death was possible in ancient boxing and pankration fights. It wasn't the goal, but it could happen if someone wouldn't tap out. It's why Spartans were banned from the pankration; they would never quit unless they were dead or unconcious. I think that this addition to the story was added much later, since it's not included in Pausanias' account.)

The statue was found guilty and dropped into the Mediterranean Sea. Later on, famine and plague struck Thasos and, after consulting the Oracle, were told that Theagenes was unjustly punished and that he would have to be allowed to return to Thasos. His statue was fished out of the sea. The current location of the bronze is unknown.

The Greek historian Pausanias wrote the following: (DESCRIPTION OF GREECE 6. 1 - 18, TRANSLATED BY W. H. S. JONES)

[6.6.5] This river then, according to tradition, was the father of Euthymus, who, though he won the prize for boxing at the seventy-fourth Olympic Festival was not to be so successful at the next. For Theagenes of Thasos, wishing to win the prizes for boxing and for the pancratium at the same Festival, overcame Euthymus at boxing, though he had not the strength to gain the wild olive in the pancratium, because he was already exhausted in his fight with Euthymus.

[6.6.6] Thereupon the umpires fined Theagenes a talent, to be sacred to the god, and a talent for the harm done to Euthymus, holding that it was merely to spite him that he entered for the boxing competition. For this reason they condemned him to pay an extra fine privately to Euthymus. At the seventy-sixth Festival Theagenes paid in full the money owed to the god, . . . and as compensation to Euthymus did not enter for the boxing-match.

[6.11.4] The achievements of Theagenes at the Olympian games have already – the most famous of them – been described in my story, how he beat Euthymus the boxer, and how he was fined by the Eleans. On this occasion the pancratium, it is said, was for the first time on record won without a contest, the victor being Dromeus of Mantineia. At the Festival following this, Theagenes was the winner in the pancratium.

[6.11.5] He also won three victories at Pytho. These were for boxing, while nine prizes at Nemea and ten at the Isthmus were won in some cases for the pancratium and in others for boxing. At Phthia in Thessaly he gave up training for boxing and the pancratium. He devoted himself to winning fame among the Greeks for his running also, and beat those who entered for the long race. His ambition was, I think, to rival Achilles by winning a prize for running in the fatherland of the swiftest of those who are called heroes. The total number of crowns that he won was one thousand four hundred.

[6.11.6] When he departed this life, one of those who were his enemies while he lived came every night to the statue of Theagenes and flogged the bronze as though he were ill-treating Theagenes himself. The statue put an end to the outrage by falling on him, but the sons of the dead man prosecuted the statue for murder. So the Thasians dropped the statue to the bottom of the sea, adopting the principle of Draco, who, when he framed for the Athenians laws to deal with homicide, inflicted banishment even on lifeless things, should one of them fall and kill a man.

[6.11.7] But in course of time, when the earth yielded no crop to the Thasians, they sent envoys to Delphi, and the god instructed them to receive back the exiles. At this command they received them back, but their restoration brought no remedy of the famine. So for the second time they went to the Pythian priestess, saying that although they had obeyed her instructions the wrath of the gods still abode with them.

[6.11.8] Whereupon the Pythian priestess replied to them:– "But you have forgotten your great Theagenes." And when they could not think of a contrivance to recover the statue of Theagenes, fishermen, they say, after putting out to sea for a catch of fish caught the statue in their net and brought it back to land. The Thasians set it up in its original position, and are wont to sacrifice to him as to a god.

[6.11.9] There are many other places that I know of, both among Greeks and among barbarians, where images of Theagenes have been set up, who cures diseases and receives honors from the natives. The statue of Theagenes is in the Altis, being the work of Glaucias of Aegina.

Useless research projects

 Earlier this year, I was watching a video on the Devonian Period and my brain suddenly wanted to know when the first kosher fish evolved.

This is actually an interesting question. Kosher fish have to have scales and fins. But, what is a fish scale and what is a fish fin? At what point in the past did armor plating turn into a scale? And are the limbs of early lobed fish considered fins?

"Fish which have fins and scales are kosher. Fish which only have fins are not kosher. Of the four types of scales, clenoid, cycloid, ganoid and placoid, only clenoid and cycloid scales are valid according to the Torah. Gandoid is the type found on sturgeon and placoid is found on shark. There is no prohibition against eating fish blood, other than the fact that people may think that a person is eating prohibited blood, and ritual slaughter is not required. The scales must be true scales that can be removed without damaging the skin of the fish. As it says in the Torah – “These you may grilled eat of the fishes, all that have fins and scales…” (Vayikrah XI:9-12) Bony tubercles and plate or thorn-like scales that can be removed only by removing part of the skin are not considered scales in this context. Some fish that have such scales, such as eels, lumpfish, shark, sturgeon, and swordfish, are not kosher."

Okay, so coelacanths are not kosher. Subject to making a time machine and testing how hard it is to remove a fish scale, it looks like the first kosher fish evolved around 350 million years ago.

A new coffee conspiracy appears.

 Hey.... Do you like coffee? Are you looking for a new history related conspiracy theory to follow? Then I've got just the thing for you. According to Dr. Vincent L. Michael, coffee not only dates back to 2600BCE, in ancient Sumeria, but there is a tablet that says that flavored coffees were around. 

"There is a Sumerian tablet from 2600 BC where the author – in perfect cuneiform – complains about how the coffee today (2600 BC) is watered down and everyone adds cream and spices (mango? chelada?) and it is no longer “like coffee” was back in my day."  {link}

And Dr. Michael should know, because he got his doctorate in.... Let me see here.... Architectural history and specializes in late 19th and early 20th century architectural preservation and restoration. So, he would be an expert in Acadian and Urartian cuneiform. Right? Right?

No.

The image that Dr. Michael uses on his blog and on Twitter says nothing about coffee. The picture is of "Instructions of Shurrupak, Sumerian proverb collection, c. 2400 BC - Oriental Institute Museum, University of Chicago" and has been translated as, "Shurrupak gave instructions to his son: / Do not buy an ass which brays too much. / Do not commit rape upon a man's daughter, do not announce it to the courtyard. / Do not answer back against your father, do not raise a 'heavy eye.'". {link}

Coffee can be dated back to around the 11th Century AD; we have books from them that speak of it's invention. Why make up shit? 

Ask Another Laurel - How Not To Be Noticed - Part 1

Ask Another Laurel - How Not To Be Noticed.

Part One: English, my friend, do you speak it.

by Caleb Reynolds

The following was written for the AEthelmearc Gazette

How far back in time could you go and not be identified as an outsider?

Probably not very far. Aside from the question of if we could talk to people and be understood, cultures of most of the world, throughout history, have been hyper focused on belonging. If you aren't from our village, or our town, or our kingdom, then you are an outsider and not to be trusted or accepted. Read up on the propaganda Henry VII used to make Catherine of Aragon acceptable to the English populace; it took years before she was fully accepted by the English people.

Being able to blend in was a requirement throughout human history. Knowing your place, and having neighbors who knew who you were and where you fit in, was essential to survival. Going all the way back to the Tale of Gilgamesh, we read of characters who ask strangers who they were and where they came from. In "The Odyssey" a common refrain is "Who are you and who are your people."  We have plenty of records from the middle ages of how travelers were treated and where they were allowed to go in a town or city. We have records of traveling peddlers and merchants being welcome in the town square by day, but had to be outside of the town gates by nightfall. Accepted when they had goods to sell, but not trusted after dark. 

Go back far enough and we find a legal system that was based on your place in your community. Your jury was composed of people who knew you personally. If you were accused of a crime, you called in your friends to stand as your jury, who would speak of your character and your innocence. If you had no local friends, if you were a stranger, the chances of someone standing to speak for you would be slim to none. We read of instances where a crime was blamed on a stranger, an outsider, who was convicted because no one was there to speak on their behalf. During the Norman occupation, a violent crime against a Norman had to have someone who was convicted and punished for that crime, otherwise the punishment would be meted out against the people who were near the place of the crime. The logic being that they must have seen who did the deed and they must be withholding evidence. The records that have survived show that, often, random people were held to blame; either people of the area whom no one liked, people who had a bad reputation anyways, or strangers. If someone had to be punished, it might as well be someone who wasn't one of us.

Half of the witch trials in England were against men and women who lived outside of the community. The shepherd whom the town rarely saw; the old woman who had no family and lived out in the woods alone with her cats. The charcoal burners who lived in the forest, always watching their fires. The dye makers who lived way, way, way over there because of the stench of making dyes. To be alone in the middle ages could be dangerous. Exile was a punishment: We don't want you, go find some other people who will take you in. If you were wealthy and interesting, you might find a new home. If not, you better hope that wherever you go, there are people from your homeland who might be kind to you. Look at how our country treated the Irish and the Italians. Look at how Paris treated Russian exiles. Look how England treated people from India and the newly created Pakistan. Un-welcomed by the general public, but finding homes next to fellow countrymen who were also forced to find a new home. Look at the mass migration of human beings today and the general protest of "no more foreigners in OUR country."

But the question here is could we fit in in an alien time and place? Could we walk the streets of Rome, or London, or Mainz without notice? Could we blend in enough so that we can find the answers to the mysteries of the past? Let us assume that you had access to a time machine that would put you at any desired time and place in Earth's history. You can bring whatever gear you could carry and return at anytime, but, you don't have a TARDIS to translate for you. Or one of Star Trek's universal translators. Or a holographic Al to feed you information from a supercomputer. Just our own current technology. You can have a team of helpers to prepare clothing and accessories, but you have to go alone. Exactly how far back could you go and still interact with people and not be run out of town?

Language changes. Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. Colloquialisms and slang can change very quickly. Watch a movie from the 1930s or '40s and try to follow the slang used. Words like cockamamie and gobsmacked are still used today, but if you go to a diner and the waitress asks you if you want some dog's soup, would you say yes? If someone invites you to a jook, would you go? Would you walk into a blind pig? Go back a another hundred years and would you be able to fit in with the mudsill? Would they think that you were a Philadelphia lawyer? Could you be someone's huckleberry? 

Did you watch the Ken Burns' Civil War documentary? Did you notice how the cadence of the letters that they read sounded so foreign to our modern ear? Read through the Sherlock Holmes stories in the format that they were originally printed. The English that was spoken (and written) at the time of Doyle is different enough from our English that we would sound out of place if we were to visit his time. Let me give you an example, and yes, it involves pretzels, 'cause of course it does. This is part of the oldest recipe for pretzels that I know of, from 1881: "throw them into a cauldron of strong hot lye made from wood-ashes; as soon as they rise to the surface, throw them on fine salt; immediately after put in the oven and bake" Look at the sentence structure: "throw them on fine salt" not "throw fine salt on them". This might seem to be trivial but if you speak differently, people will know that you ain't from 'round these parts.

My example was from 150 years ago, which in terms of the SCA was just the other day. Do you think that we would be able to talk with William Shakespeare, if we could go visit him? Shakespeare didn't speak like he wrote. No one actually spoke in iambic pentameter. Normal people don't talk in rhyme regardless of what '80s cartoons taught us. Shakespeare is the bane of English high school students because it is almost modern English, but different enough that it might have been French in places. The sentence structure, of his time, is strange, many words have different meanings or are no longer part of modern English, and what pronoun to use is more complicated than today. Which is correct: "you" or "thee"? "Your" or "thine"? Using the wrong word could be seen as insulting to the listener, or make you appear to be foolish or putting on airs. 

That's just English. Let's say you want to go back in time to France, or Italy, or Germany, or Spain. Those languages have also changed over the centuries, and to add to the complication, those languages have gendered nouns. Are you certain that the genders haven't changed? Today, German bridges are girls (die Brücke) and Italian bridges are boys (il ponte). Was this always the case? I honestly don't know, but that is something that you would have to learn before you take your trip. And speaking of French, Victor Hugo's "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame" is the bane of high schoolers in France. The book was only written in 1831 but the changes to the French language are as significant as the changes to English from Shakespeare's time to ours. France has an official government agency tasked with reigning in changes to modern French and to stop the influx of new words from other languages. 

Of all of the European languages, Icelandic and Basque have the least amount of drift over the last 1000 years. English, the most. There isn't much data about Welsh, Cornish, Scots or Irish Gaelic because the English tried for a few centuries to destroy those languages completely. (Strangely enough, in the most North-Eastern corner of England, there is an out of the way place that still speaks a version of the Old English dialect used in Northumbria before the Norman Conquest: The late historian Terry Jones did a documentary where he visited that place with a professor of Old English to act as a translator with the local farmers.) Hebrew and Arabic have also had little change in last thousand years. A former co-worker of mine, who is a devoted Muslim from Pakistan, once told me that the 7th Century Arabic of the Quran is very similar to modern Arabic, although, he said, no one really speaks Arabic in the same fashion in day to day life. His description reminded me of the English of the King James' Bible compared to modern English. Very readable, but not how we speak today: very old fashioned. I have no clue about Persian, Indian, Chinese, or other Asian languages; someone who knows more than I do about those parts of the world would be better suited to research that.

 Then we have to acknowledge that there really is no one English language. Or German. Or Italian. Or most any language, for that matter. Medieval French can be broken up into Picard, Limousin, Gascon, Langues d'oïl, Occitan, and other dialects. What version of French you speak would tell the listener where you came from and even give hints as to your political leanings. Patois and Québécois are North American-French dialects and if you try to speak either one of them in Paris, the locals will know that you ain't from 'round here. German also had a lot of regional dialects: Hochdeutsch, Plattdeutch, Bayerisch, Sächsisch, Swabian, just to name a few. And don't even let a Sicilian and an Italian talk about who's great grandparents spoke Italian "properly." Thanksgiving get togethers turn into a dinner and a show over how to say "lasagna". (Don't even ask why there are peas in the lasagna. That's a different fight.)  

The Castilian Spanish that I learned in high school allowed me to go to Mexico and get around, but it wasn't the same language as what the locals were speaking. It probably won't help me any better in Catalan Spain, if I were to visit. Since our goal is to visit the past and not be noticed, speaking the wrong dialect, or with the wrong accent, will mark you out as an outsider. Why would someone answer weird questions from the weird stranger with the weird accent? Must be up to something. Somewhere in my house I have a book on cold war spy craft. There was a chapter on the difficulties of teaching someone how to sound the right way, which is why spy agencies prefer to recruit locals. The book told of a British spy working in Moscow, in the 1950s, who explained away his horrendously bad Russian accent by saying that he grew up in Siberia and deliberately played up the rural aspect of coming from the back waters of the USSR. He got away with it for a couple of years until a KGB agent, who was actually from Siberia, heard him and wanted to know what language he was speaking. The British spy's story fell apart and he was arrested.

Regional accents would also give us away; we really don't know what the accent of a particular town or city was 500 years ago. There are no audio recordings and I don't know of any written descriptions of accents outside of works of fiction, and we can take those with a big pinch of salt. Our accent would tip off not only that we are foreign, but what class of society we belong to. If we sound like we grew up on a farm, people will know that we aren't the Lord or Lady that we claim to be, and vis a versa. If we are trying to pass ourselves off as a commoner, in town looking for work, and we sound like an Oxford educated BBC news announcer, people will notice.

So, our best bet to not give ourselves away with what we say is to say nothing at all. We could try to get by using nothing more than hand gestures (and, perhaps, with a wax tablet if we found someone who could read what we wrote). We couldn't use ALS to communicate: while there was a kind of sign language used by monks to get around the whole no talking during meals rule, it mostly concerned food and doesn't translate well into interactive conversation. I would have to say that trying to communicate with someone from 15th century Europe using ALS would attract far more attention than speaking "bad" French with a strange accent. We could try to get by dressed as a monk and miming that you have taken a vow of silence, but outside of Victorian novels' plot points, I don't think that monks traveled outside of the monastery still under the vow of silence. They would have had to communicate with people to ask for directions, conduct business, or beg for alms. But, pretending to be a monk who was traveling from one monastery to another would be a good cover story. The habit and cowl would identify you as a monk, someone who was both part and apart from everyday life, and if you didn't speak the local lingo well, then you could always use the Conehead ploy. A nun's habit would also work, although I don't how often a single nun went traveling long distances by herself. I will leave the research of the migration patterns of medieval nuns to other curious minded people.

Perhaps you could learn Latin; that was a universal language for learned people, right? You will be able to communicate with other learned people, right? Right? I've been reading about how even Latin had dialects. Is 'V' pronounced "vee" or "wee"? Is it "vivat" or "wiwat"? "Veni vidi vici" or "Weni Widi Wici"? Would you pronounce the "C" in Caesar as "see" or as "kai". Both are correct, in the middle ages. During Rome's imperial days, it would have been pronounced "kai-sar" by the elites and those that wrote the poetry. Language historians believe that the lower classes might have said "see-sar" in the same way that the lower classes of London drop the "h" from many words. Caesaria is now called Kayseri, in Turkey. Kaiser is the German derivation of Caesar. In French, and then English, the "kai" sound migrated to a "see". Spanish kept the "kai" of the "C" but pronounced the "S" and "R" sounds differently. Italian turned the "C" into a "jay" sound over the centuries. The pronunciation of Caesar could be an article all on its own. You probably won't be able to communicate with the average person, but you might be able to get into a university library and ask for a book. 

Idioms would also be an issue for us. Not only would most of our modern day idioms make no sense to someone from the Middle Ages, (just think of explaining "swipe left" to someone who lived before cell phones were invented) but their idioms might have no meaning to us. If it's 300 years before china reaches Europe, then a bull in a china shop would make no sense. And trying to change the idiom (a bull in the pottery shed) might earn you a dirty look and a "Why didn't you just say clumsy?" "Shaka when the walls fell" only makes sense if you've seen one episode of one TV show. "To the word and to the letter" makes sense to us, or should. As does "Once an abbot", but what does "To drink like a Pope" really mean? Without the cultural context we only have a 50/50 chance of figuring it out: drink a lot or alcohol, or no alcohol? It depends on which Pope we're talking about, because the phrase is attributed to several Popes, some who abstained from sin and others who acted in most un-Pope like fashions, and using that phrase in an insulting manner might get you arrested for heresy. 

Many books have been written about how language has changed over the centuries, so I won't spend any more time on it, in this article. I was planning on a single article covering language, clothing, and mannerisms, but I decided to split it into three separate articles so that readers won't be overwhelmed by my rambling. Part two will cover what to wear and part three will cover how to act.